Loving

…it is not as clear as it seems

Trading abanonment for abandonment…

After my divorce was final, I longed for Andrew and I to become a couple, but he would not move beyond his keyboard. He never explained why — all he could give me were the black letters he typed on the blinding whiteness of our computer screens. 

He would promise to call but never did. His excuses were laughable, had I been in a position to see humor in any of them. 

Andrew wrote as if we would most certainly get together ‘soon’, but ignored all my invitations to visit me in Chicago. I began to make excuses for him.  Maybe he lost his job and had no money for travel.  Maybe time had treated him poorly and needed time to get back into shape before seeing me.  Maybe he had been seriously hurt by his last girlfriend and needed to heal. Maybe…

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